There’s a wonderful quote by Author Neale Donald Walsch which is “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”, so what is it that stops us from stepping outside our comfort zone!
Whether you seek out new opportunities or new opportunities simply come our way, what is that makes some people embrace these opportunities rather than shy away and stick with the safe option? And why is it that many of us will stick with something or remain in a situation that leaves us feeling neither happy nor fulfilled just because it’s the safe option?
As a cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist I often work with my clients to overcome this very issue.
Well the first thing to remember is that our need to remain in a situation in which we feel safe is in part a protective mechanism. The mind will perceive familiar situations to be safe even though they’re neither fulfilling nor enjoyable. In fact it’s not uncommon for people to remain in familiar situations that are really unpleasant, simply because they are familiar and so perceived by the mind to be safe!!!
So what can you do to step outside of your comfort zone and to live a more fulfilling and satisfying life? Here are my top ten tips for living life outside of your comfort zone!
1. Do a life audit! Ask yourself, “Is this situation really making me happy?” And be honest with yourself about how you really feel. It’s important to consider not just the cost of making the change, but also the cost of not making the change! How will you feel in 6 months or 2 years time if you remain in the same situation as you are now?
2. Face the fear and do it anyway! Making meaningful life changes can be overwhelming and even frightening at times!! Now fear is a powerful evolutionary protective mechanism designed to keep us safe in potentially dangerous situations, but here’s the thing, even when things are damn right unpleasant or totally unfulfilling, because they are familiar the brain will perceive them to be safe!! But by accepting that the value of the change is greater than the unpleasantness of going through the fear and making the necessary changes in spite of the fear you are able to step outside of your comfort zone and live a more fulfilling life. Accept that it’s natural to feel fearful in an unfamiliar situation, but don’t allow fear to hold you back! Remember it’s often the fact that something is scary that leads to the feeling of satisfaction afterwards!! If it was easy, success wouldn’t taste so sweet!!
3. Set SMART goals and make a plan!!! SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed goals. SMART goals are a wonderful tool to keep you motivated throughout the process of change. By making a plan and holding yourself accountable, you’re much more likely to achieve your goals instead of slipping back into old habits!
4. Rome wasn’t built in a day so keep at it!! If something overwhelms you or intimidates you, keep doing it! There was a time where you couldn’t write your own name or do up your shoe laces, but you can now! When you begin doing something new, don’t be harsh on yourself, accept that lasting change takes commitment, determination and persistence, but know that it is possible! Be it changing your career, learning a new skill or overcoming a social phobia, the more you do, the better you’ll become! This is something universal to successful people. Some people may be more naturally gifted in certain areas, athletes for example may have a natural aptitude for their sport, however everybody has the ability to improve at something and to develop new skills.
5. Fake it till you make it!! I’ll let you into a little secret, many of the most confident, successful and fearless people out there didn’t always feel that way! So how did they become brave, confident and courageous? Well the age old term “fake it till you make it” has a lot to do with it! It’s not uncommon to feel like we’re faking it when we do something outside of our comfort zone, but the more we do that thing the more familiar it will become and of course if it’s familiar it’s safe!
6. Visualise your success!!! Visualisation is a well-known and powerful tool for increasing motivation and improving performance. Long used by athletes for performance enhancement, numerous studies show that visualising our success keeps us motivated and focused on achieving our goals.
7. Small steps lead to big changes! Every little step you take ultimately results in big changes. By consistently making small positive changes you allow yourself to achieve your goals.
8. No excuses!! In the early stages of making a change it may be tempting to make excuses! That little voice in your head that says “I’m too busy today, I’ll start tomorrow”. This is even more tempting when a change is somewhat overwhelming or particularly challenging in some way, but remember by avoiding a situation you only reinforce the belief within the mind that the change is in fact dangerous or threatening in some way, however if you put yourself in that feared or anxiety inducing situation you alter those negative beliefs giving your mind the very clear message that such situations are not only safe, but often extremely enjoyable and satisfying too!
9. Have fun!!! Enjoy the process of stepping outside your comfort zone. Of discovering new things about yourself, new strengths and of course new opportunities! By keeping things fun you’re more likely to keep motivated.
10. What if I fail!!!!! There’s a wonderful ancient Japanese Proverb which is “Fall down seven times, stand up eight”, which basically means that when we fail we learn and when we learn we just get better! Fear of failure often comes down to fearing the judgement of others, “what if I mess up, what will others think of me?” It’s only natural to want the approval of others, but what if our need for approval is stopping us from really living and embracing new opportunities!! In reality we don’t need the approval of others once we approve of ourselves! And perhaps this really is the ultimate victory, because as a good friend and client of mine once said, “our biggest limits are those we place upon ourselves!”
If you’d like to work with me Louise Phillips to step outside of your comfort zone please call 07930 423633
info@louisephillipshypnotherapy.co.uk
http://www.louisephillipshypnotherapy.co.uk/
